The Divorce - Why?
Selvaraghavan Sonia Agarwal Aayirathil Oruvan   The meaning of marriage as an institution is assuming different forms today and tradition and culture lovers are certainly an unhappy lot with the turn of events. A statistics reveals that divorce rates in India are lower when compared to its western counterparts but the urban divorce rate in India is shooting up quite steeply. Coming to the divorce in the film industry, we recently had Selvaraghavan and Sonia Agarwal applying for divorce and so is Malayalam actress Kavya Madhavan.

Selva and Sonia had opted for divorce citing mutual incompatibility as the reason. What is surprising here is the couple has known each other well before the wedding and were courting before they tied the nuptial knot. Each one of them knew the shortfalls and highs of their respective professions and was assumed to have a lucid understanding of each other. Then what brought in the (d)rift?

From the way media has presented a picture of Selvaraghavan, he comes across as a creative genius passionate about film making. Such types of men are
generally work driven, a sort of a recluse and in short does not possess an iota of trait of a ‘family man’ (Of course family men are an endangered species now). Such people are, in a way commitment phobic and cannot be brought under order which is the very basic necessity of a family man who shoulders many responsibilities. Such men (sometimes women) cannot be bound by anything and are just happy being themselves. In a way, they symbolize ‘I, me, myself’ and nothing beyond that.

The next question that arises is – did Sonia not know about him earlier?

During their courtship, their professional commitment kept them together as she had featured in three of Selva’s films. Post marriage, Sonia took a sabbatical and he was involved in Aayirathil Oruvan which took him away from her for many long days. Meanwhile trying to fight ennui and loneliness, she attempted a television entry but apparently even that did not bring her peace.

She appears like a normal woman with normal expectations of a married life. This normality must have struck the discordancy note in their relationship which must have led to subsequent events.

Sonia and Selva are two nice human beings but apparently their interests did not meet.

Currently this kind of situation is not new and is common even in many non-filmi, urban families. The present day women are at cross roads trying to find a balance between domestic bliss and professional fulfillment. However the women from earlier generation were quite contented just to be identified as someone’s wife or someone’s mom. Perhaps this has saved many a marriages then.

What is right and what is wrong? It differs as perspectives vary. Should marriage be given prime importance? Should not a woman’s self respect matter? Should the couple have more tolerance and if so for what? Which is the true happiness? Does a divorce bring happiness to the couple and family involved?

Many such questions remain unanswered.

All the same wishing Sonia and Selva loads of happiness and peace in all their endeavors in life.

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