Film by DVD
everyone, I am a DVD. All of you know me, or at
least someone in my family, I have a lots of brothers
all around the world and I am sure that at least
one of them is at home with you. Almost everyone
in my family is used to store and watch movies.
We are proud of being able to carry good cinema
to all corners of the world. Credit is also due
to our half-brothers the CD, but with due humility
I would like to say that we DVDs have better capacity
and memory. But before this starts to look like
a self-advertising effort, let me get to the point.
We are not known to talk much; we only do our
job of carrying good cinema into the homes of
anyone who wants to watch it. We are quiet performers.
In fact, we have not yet spoken against the way
we are being misused by many illegal operators
to create copies of movies without the permission
of their makers. The bad picture and sound quality
of the products is spoiling our pedigree and harming
the reputation of my family. But, let me leave
that for another day. Today, I am speaking about
something that you all need to know about. It
is about how I am being denied a lot of credit
deserve for many good films that you see.
Biotechnology invented the science of cloning more than
a decade ago; everyone was very excited about it. I
have always wondered what the big fuss was about. Cloning
is only about making duplicate copies, isn’t it?
Well, cinema invented dubbing and remakes many decades
earlier and no one seemed to notice. At last we came
to the conclusion that perhaps many people are not able
to identify clones when they see one because they haven’t
seen the original. But, no clone can escape the notice
of the DVD family because every movie made on earth
has to ultimately come to us.
In 2005, there was a new addition to the DVD family,
it was named Tsotsi. He was born in South Africa and
had a wonderful tale to tell. It was about a gangster
who accidentally gets the ownership of a baby. He unwillingly
takes up custody of the child and tends for it, even
gets another lady to breast feed the baby. Touching
to say the least, the changes brought about in a rough
goon by an infant. We were proud to have Tsotsi in our
family. Now, we hear that Tsotsi has been cloned. Well,
the clone has not come to our family yet, he eventually
will. We have got news that it is from India, Tamil
Nadu to be exact. It is nice, in fact to hear that Tsotsi
has been cloned. Any clone of Tsotsi cannot be bad and
we will be proud to have another good member in the
Ours is a young family you know. It has not been too
many years since the first DVD was born. But, we must
say that we have multiplies in numbers far faster than
the rate of the human population. One of the veterans
in our family, she is called ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’
once said that she was among the first to be cloned.
That was before biotechnological clone was invented.
So, the man who did it must surely be of great skill.
‘Mrs. Doubtfire’ told us her story. We expected
to hear a woman’s story, but we were surprised
to know that it was in fact about a man who had to go
in disguise as a caretaker nanny to his wife’s
house so that he could take care of his children. Really
funny, it ought to have been cloned for more people
to see. This time also, the clone was from India. In
fact, there were two clones. We checked out the man
who was behind these clones. It turned out that he had
contributed many of the most sought after members in
our family. Great film maker.
I thought, oh, so there are quite a lot of clones. I
searched deeper and found out a few more. One of the
younger members of my family named Memento told me his
story. It was about a man who couldn’t remember
anything for a long time. It seems that he got hit hard
on the head while trying to save his wife from murderers.
The rest of his life is spent trying to find them out
and kill them. The most interesting detail was that
he tattooed all essential details on his body so that
he wouldn’t forget and always carried a Polaroid
camera around to take pictures of important people or
places. It seems that he had been cloned too. Again,
the superb work was done in India. This does seem to
be a hot spot for cloning. Great work. I met the clone
too, absolutely wonderful to have him in our family.
Can’t remember his name.
I met a few others too. Well, maybe the list is getting
too long. But, let me tell you about a few works that
are in progress. I met this cool DVD called ‘Taken’
about a protective father trying to save his daughter
from danger. He told me that he was being cloned and
that the work would be over soon. Guess the place where
he was cloned, India again. These guys are experts I
believe. Wonder why they don’t get any Oscars!
Well, as I have said, the clones are absolutely fabulous.
They could even give a complex to the original guys
already in our family. It has to be admitted that the
clones are not clones in the exact sense. There are
a few changes and the new guys definitely have a much
better sense of music. But, they are basically the same
as the originals, but with a makeover. Sometimes, when
we want to tell someone a story we are not sure whom
to call upon, the original or his clone. But, only one
thing I want to say is, the original guy does deserve
the credit. After all, he came up with the story first.
The clone might be good, but the real one deserves at
least a footnote. Sadly, I find this courtesy missing.
At least, the original guy must be asked before being
cloned, which I understand, is not what happens in most
cases. We DVDs are quite a generous lot and will give
consent if graciously asked, but that never happens.
I met a few in my family who were not quite amused with
the idea of having clones. They were talking about things
like ‘copyright infringement’ and ‘rights’.
Most of them were DVDs carrying legal stories or documentaries.
I couldn’t make much of it.
But, one general opinion that I cam across is that the
rate of cloning was increasing alarmingly. Guess, someone
has to act like Bush and bring about a ban on cloning.
Otherwise, some wise men in my family said, there will
be a time when the DVD family will be overrun with clones.
Boy, I wouldn’t want to think of that, I love
individuality. Guess everyone does! You wouldn’t
want to run into the same story every third DVD, would
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